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about me

hello my names laura just laura and im 16 and in year 11 at school ive taken BTEC art , history and child development for my options.

im kind of a walking paradox , im quiet and loud at the same time , i love busy places and cities yet i crave the peace and quiet of somewhere in the middle of no where , i love to be crazy yet theres something beautiful in just black and white.

 i have depression and also anxiety problems im open about it , which i a lot of people find strange because a lot of people with depression keep to themselves but im open about it because i want other people to know they are not alone and another reason i want people without depression to know how to cope with someone with depression because being close to someone who has it is extremly difficult - they have to deal with your ups and downs and a lot of the time you take it out on them. - i am actually over my depression now quite content really but ive still been through all the shit of it if you need to talk im here 

im not a very happy person at the moment im sort of numb and very alone - im not alone though i have plenty of friends and the perfect family yet i still feel it im just sort of plodding along in life getting by but not really living .

im actually really happy at the moment i feel asif everythings been lifted off my shoulders , im light , content im not always tense i laugh properly laugh not just a fake one , i smile to myself quite often and im just waiting to leave school and go to college its so weird being happy its been such a long time ive had depression as long as i can remember and being like this being able to smile a real smile and not a fake one is almost like im on drugs it dosnt seem real.

i have been through so much crap , i was bullied at primary school and half of secondary school i hardly had any friends and the ones i did have would deny it if anyone asked , ive always been the weird one , its sounds stupid but in primary school if i touched someone theyd freak out and say i had germs and the whole class would laugh id never be picked for a group and i dreaded having to be in pairs because id never have someone to go with but everythings fine now ive kind of found myself , i have my own style and ive stopped trying to fit it because ive realsied in this world its good to stand out.

if you ever ever need anything i mean anything i will be there for you , you can ask my friends , i have on countless ocassions stayed up into the esarly hours of the morning on school nights talking on the phone to my friends , i am the person that will do anything to make you happy and feel safe no matter the cost to me , if you ever see me at a meetup im the one thats checking if everyones okay makinlg sure no ones getting hurt and if  youre drunk ill always buy you some water and keep an eye on you just in case im not trying to make myself sounds like a saint because im far from it i just want you to know you can count on me and ill always be here.

i love my family so much its silly they are perfect in everyway and i love ach and everyone of them like they are the reason the world keeps moving , i love my mum so much i always call her my sun and moon because thats what she is she keep the tide moving everyday and give my little world warmth and light.

anyway my favourite things in the world are :

  • harry potter 
  • lord of the rings 
  • eragon 
  • boooks i love them so much !!
  • pizza
  • chairty shops
  • home made dens 
  • camping
  • christian festivals
  • knitted jumpers
  • winter 
  • platform flat shoes are fab
  • dragons
  • doctor who 
  • dream works films 
  • the hunger games 
  • the mortal instruments
  • music - nirvana , avenge sevenfold , korn , bon iver , the smiths , florence and the machine , iron maiden and muse, the ramones , system of a down , Metallica , hole , pixies , trivium .

oh and im ‘straight edge’ i dont drink or smoke or do drugs or have sex ( im happy to have sex when i find the right person and im in a realtionship ) bu im okay with that i dont really want to and i dont need to i can let myself go and get pretty crazy without the influence of alcohol ! also if everybodys else is drunk you can do whatever the hell you want and no one will remember and its nice to watch so im okay to be honest id rather stay in with a few friends watch a film , eat pizza be nice and cute than go to a drug filled party fest 

im a chirstian and i love god and go to church although i should really go more and read the bible more but hey ho i try .

when im older i would like to be an over seas missionary hopefully with a charity working in a ‘safe house’ for children and teenagers which have been saved from the sex industry , as i am taking fashion design in college i would love to be able to be part of a new charity which teaches 12-19 year old that are either orphans or in illegal work to sew stitch and make clothing a sort of school which would enable the girls and boy to have a legal and well paid job when they are older , for my gap year i am going to Uganda with the charity mission direct ( check it out its awesome ! ) to build and work in a new orphanage it took me a long time but now ive realized that i don’t need a big amazing job i don’t need to be famous or rich i think just by helping people who really need it i think that the best job in the world // or be a youth worker in rough areas of britain working in homeless hostels and going round the streets handing out food talking to people and hearing there storys and getting them help

i tend to say honey,fab,lovely,fuck and twat a tad bit to much